*Note: Ross and Rachel were not on a break. Make of that what you will.
THE GUILD! SEASON 4 EPISODE 1: EPIC GUILT
CODEX: Meep! It's recap time! Axis of Anarachy! Battle! Psychotic Break! Kilts! Oh and.....HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED.
SCOFIELD: She can't say sex?
SUCCIU: Well this is a web series. It's rated PG-13.
SCOFIELD: No way. Clara's boobs alone make this rated PG-DD.
SUCCIU: *Meaningful glance at the bed*
CODEX: I have to come clean! What if Vork sees us /e-cybering! What if they catch us eating raw ham!
SCOFIELD: So that's what prosciuto is...
SUCCIU: Man, getting laid did not help her anxiety disorder at all. You owe me 50 gold.
SCOFIELD: You still owe me 100 for not asking questions when I had to pick you up from Lower City wearing nothing but your Playboy Bunny outfit.
SUCCIU: We'll call it a draw then.
CODEX: Stupid confidence! Stupid cute gamer boys!
SUCCIU: She clearly does not know the definition of either word. She just slept with a guy in a skirt.
BAM ITS THE SAME THEME SONG AS THE FIRST THREE SEASONS! CODEX! BALD GUY! TINKERBELL! TOKEN KID IN HIGH SCHOOL! BAZOOMAS! BAZOOMA-ED!
/something about Clara singing with an octopus on her head.
SUCCIU: Is...Bladez...wearing...a hair net?
SCOFIELD: Hey look he's cooking while on his laptop! Just like Vork used to do in Season --ooh, wait, there it is.
CODEX: Guys? I um, have some very important news. Um.
*Click*
SCOFIELD: Sudden power loss for no apparent reason. Sounds like your power company dude.
SUCCIU: /target Pepco /cast Curse of Dooooooooom
SCOFIELD: Yeah cuz that works.
ZABOOS PHONE: *OH FUCK ALERT*
ZABOO: TINFOIL! I MUST WRAP YOU IN TINFOIL SO THAT YOU CANNOT READ MY MIND! AND SPATULA! AND STAPLERS!
CODEX: Back! So as I--
VORK: Lets get a castle!
CODEX: So uh--
CLARA: Shiny! Whats that?
[2. TRADE CHAT:] NOOB READ THE PATCH NOTES
TINK: Guys Celestial Steeds, I mean Guild Halls are just e-peen strokers
BLADEZ: I don't need an e-peen. As a seventeen your old boy in high school, you know, I am the most secure person in this guild.
SUCCIU: He is wearing a hairnet still, right?
SCOFIELD: Yeah, but he sneezed on the burgers. It's cool.
CODEX: Anyway so--
CLARA: Different does not mean the same.
CODEX: I know my boyfriend is getting one.
TINK: BITCH PLEASE. Okay we have to get one.
BLADEZ: They have made "Your Mom" jokes a reality. Clearly they need to die in a fire.
TINK: Fawkes says you're his 'ho, Codex.
CODEX: Really? He promised that I'd be his lady on the street and a freak in the bed.
ZABOO: I'm a good guy! Pick me!
CLARA: How come no one ever makes lewd comments about me?
SUCCIU: Think Felicia day would be into kinky sex?
SCOFIELD: I'm betting sex with her has minimal kink.
CODEX: Probably, I am dating a guy who wears a skirt.
SCOFIELD: Isn't that cute. She thinks they're dating after just one night...
SUCCIU: Dude Clara says he peed on her, and you don't let a guy do that without some commitment.
CODEX: Plus I would never yell at him during raid time.
ZABOO: CODEX IS DATING A GUY IN A SKIRT? I MUST USELESSLY BURN MYSELF ON THIS MEAT TO MAKE A POINT!
CLARA: Oooh, this is better than the Realm Forums right now.
VORK: Hey Zaboo, need a little manlove? And you owe me 87 cents for that meat.
ZABOO: HOW COULD SHE DATE A GUY IN A SKIRT?
CODEX: Guys. I NEVER DO THIS. No kissing on the mouth.
SCOFIELD: You know, when a girls says "I never do this," that usually means she does it. A lot.
SUCCIU: Oh I know.
SCOFIELD: ......
TINK: Codex I think we must have gotten mixed up. *I* am the hot girl on this show. Seriously check my contract. I signed it "Hot Asian Chick."
CLARA: Achievement Unlocked! Realm First! Best Joke of the Episode!
SUCCIU: Booooooonneeeeessstttooorrrmmm!
SCOFIELD: Just because you read it on textsfromlastnight doesn't make it funny.
CODEX: Guys this isn't just e-Armory-- I mean, we are in love He talked nerd at me. That means something!
CLARA: Fraps or it didn't happen.
TINK: You are not nearly hot enough to keep sex interesting for a guy with a leather jacket.
ZABOO: Keep in mind he also wears a skirt. Just saying.
VORK: Okay Codex, save the e-whoring for later. I am going to regret lifting the ban on girls in the guild, they seriously inflate DKP margins....
CODEX: But I was honest and upfront about it! Doesn't that count for anything?
[2. TRADE CHAT:] Chuck Norris would say no.
*METEOR CRASH*
CODEX: Oh my gosh fire!
SUCCIU: Doesn't she know the first rule of gaming?
SCOFIELD: Watch out for Meteor Crashes in the Barrens?
SUCCIU: *Sigh* Yes.
We'll be back! Just like Zaboo's Mom's totally unexpected reappearance, we too have a respawn timer.
We'll be back! Just like Zaboo's Mom's totally unexpected reappearance, we too have a respawn timer.
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