New Sigs

Courtesy of Demonmaster Relmesh.

Roflcopter Achievements

So yesterday Scofield and I were in vent lollygagging as per usual. I was running H-PoS for the ten millionth time and Scofield was...well, what were you doing Scofield? Anyway. Scofield and I play on different realms (its a sad story) and we were trying to decide what to name his new vent channel and my newly-transferred Paladin. We couldn't name the channel Shenanigans, because Scofield's whole life is pretty much all shenanigans. He has long held a guild rank all his own titled "Shenaniganner." Hence this blog. This had to be a special channel name for super awesome shenanigans. It was eventually designated "Nerd Rage" and if you have ever done PvP with us, you would understand.

The paladin eventually became "Succidin" because all the good names were taken. I then proceeded to take her into a Monday "Lawl-alt" ICC10, that somehow included a DK with Shadowmourne and a Priest who recently replaced Val'anyr. So there were those guys, and then there was...me. I am a Failadin.

If you were to go solely by RSS feeds, this has been a pretty redonkulous week for Succiu. I rather embarrassingly got  [Glory of the Icecrown Raider] and [The Spellweaver's Downfall] within hours of each other. [Loremaster of Eastern Kingdoms] has also been checked off the list.


My bucket list for Cataclysm includes Loremaster and as close to The Exalted as I can get. I am panting after a Heroic Lich King kill because it would be a nice thing to round off with before Cataclysm, but since that is so dependent on guild ambition (currently just starting attempts) I am not putting it on the list. I'm a Wrath of the Lich King baby, so going from zero to The End Game in one expansion would be, if nothing else, a good story. Too, there is the argument that *not* killing it will leave me feeling a little....unfulfilled, to say the least.

Epic Guilt

So The Guild: Season 4 premiered this Tuesday! Scofield and I, who are obviously batshit crazy fans, feel the need to share it with you. Watch and then read our TOTALLY UNEDITED AND FAITHFUL RECAP.

*Note: Ross and Rachel were not on a break. Make of that what you will.

THE GUILD! SEASON 4 EPISODE 1: EPIC GUILT



CODEX: Meep! It's recap time! Axis of Anarachy! Battle! Psychotic Break! Kilts! Oh and.....HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED.

SCOFIELD: She can't say sex?

SUCCIU: Well this is a web series. It's rated PG-13.

SCOFIELD: No way. Clara's boobs alone make this rated PG-DD.

SUCCIU: *Meaningful glance at the bed*

CODEX: I have to come clean! What if Vork sees us /e-cybering! What if they catch us eating raw ham!

SCOFIELD: So that's what prosciuto is...

SUCCIU: Man, getting laid did not help her anxiety disorder at all. You owe me 50 gold.

SCOFIELD: You still owe me 100 for not asking questions when I had to pick you up from Lower City wearing nothing but your Playboy Bunny outfit.

SUCCIU: We'll call it a draw then.

CODEX: Stupid confidence! Stupid cute gamer boys!

SUCCIU: She clearly does not know the definition of either word. She just slept with a guy in a skirt.

BAM ITS THE SAME THEME SONG AS THE FIRST THREE SEASONS! CODEX! BALD GUY! TINKERBELL! TOKEN KID IN HIGH SCHOOL! BAZOOMAS! BAZOOMA-ED!

/something about Clara singing with an octopus on her head.

SUCCIU: Is...Bladez...wearing...a hair net?

SCOFIELD: Hey look he's cooking while on his laptop! Just like Vork used to do in Season --ooh, wait, there it is.

CODEX: Guys? I um, have some very important news. Um.

*Click*

SCOFIELD: Sudden power loss for no apparent reason. Sounds like your power company dude.

SUCCIU: /target Pepco /cast Curse of Dooooooooom

SCOFIELD: Yeah cuz that works.

ZABOOS PHONE: *OH FUCK ALERT*

ZABOO: TINFOIL! I MUST WRAP YOU IN TINFOIL SO THAT YOU CANNOT READ MY MIND! AND SPATULA! AND STAPLERS!

CODEX: Back! So as I--

VORK: Lets get a castle!

CODEX: So uh--

CLARA: Shiny! Whats that?

[2. TRADE CHAT:] NOOB READ THE PATCH NOTES

TINK: Guys Celestial Steeds, I mean Guild Halls are just e-peen strokers

BLADEZ: I don't need an e-peen. As a seventeen your old boy in high school, you know, I am the most secure person in this guild.

SUCCIU: He is wearing a hairnet still, right?

SCOFIELD: Yeah, but he sneezed on the burgers. It's cool.

CODEX: Anyway so--

CLARA: Different does not mean the same.

CODEX: I know my boyfriend is getting one.

TINK: BITCH PLEASE. Okay we have to get one.

BLADEZ: They have made "Your Mom" jokes a reality. Clearly they need to die in a fire.

TINK: Fawkes says you're his 'ho, Codex.

CODEX: Really? He promised that I'd be his lady on the street and a freak in the bed.

ZABOO: I'm a good guy! Pick me!

CLARA: How come no one ever makes lewd comments about me?

SUCCIU: Think Felicia day would be into kinky sex?

SCOFIELD: I'm betting sex with her has minimal kink.

CODEX: Probably, I am dating a guy who wears a skirt.

SCOFIELD: Isn't that cute. She thinks they're dating after just one night...

SUCCIU: Dude Clara says he peed on her, and you don't let a guy do that without some commitment.

CODEX: Plus I would never yell at him during raid time.

ZABOO: CODEX IS DATING A GUY IN A SKIRT? I MUST USELESSLY BURN MYSELF ON THIS MEAT TO MAKE A POINT!

BLADEZ: Guild Drama!

CLARA: Oooh, this is better than the Realm Forums right now.

VORK: Hey Zaboo, need a little manlove? And you owe me 87 cents for that meat.

ZABOO: HOW COULD SHE DATE A GUY IN A SKIRT?

CODEX: Guys. I NEVER DO THIS. No kissing on the mouth.

SCOFIELD: You know, when a girls says "I never do this," that usually means she does it. A lot.

SUCCIU: Oh I know.

SCOFIELD: ......

TINK: Codex I think we must have gotten mixed up. *I* am the hot girl on this show. Seriously check my contract. I signed it "Hot Asian Chick."

CLARA: Achievement Unlocked! Realm First! Best Joke of the Episode!

SUCCIU: Booooooonneeeeessstttooorrrmmm!

SCOFIELD: Just because you read it on textsfromlastnight doesn't make it funny.

SUCCIU: Hey Scofield? Wanna get [BONED 25 Player] ?

CODEX: Guys this isn't just e-Armory-- I mean, we are in love He talked nerd at me. That means something!

CLARA: Fraps or it didn't happen.

TINK: You are not nearly hot enough to keep sex interesting for a guy with a leather jacket.

ZABOO: Keep in mind he also wears a skirt. Just saying.

VORK: Okay Codex, save the e-whoring for later. I am going to regret lifting the ban on girls in the guild, they seriously inflate DKP margins....

CODEX: But I was honest and upfront about it! Doesn't that count for anything?

[2. TRADE CHAT:] Chuck Norris would say no.

*METEOR CRASH*

CODEX: Oh my gosh fire!

SUCCIU: Doesn't she know the first rule of gaming?

SCOFIELD: Watch out for Meteor Crashes in the Barrens?

SUCCIU: *Sigh* Yes.



We'll be back! Just like Zaboo's Mom's totally unexpected reappearance, we too have a respawn timer.

31-Point Warlock Talents

So the new 31 point talent trees were released today and are available in Beta. It has been stated that the warlock trees are far from finished, and after playing with the talent calculators a little bit I’m glad to know they are going to be taking another pass at them. You can read my full comments behind the cut, but the TL; DR version is that they are moving the direction of less variation in the passive parts of the game, like talent choices, and much more variation in the actual game play. The trees are a mess at the moment, but its still worth looking at them to guess at future intentions.

The Origins of Scofield

And a shaman was born.

The details of how I became a shaman are fuzzy but I do know that I wanted to heal things. We didn’t have like any in the guild at the time. I know sad story. Everyone knows the grind. Starting area. Barrens. Tarren Mill, more Barrens, more Tarren Mill.
Oh hey a WC run. “What do you mean its bugged? What does that even mean??” You have those “Where the fuck do I go now?” moments. Those “holy shit that’s a lot of quests!” moments.

1.[Hinterlands] Scofield:LFM for jinth’alor. Pst.
1.[Hinterlands] SomeDbag:you don’t need a group anymore nub. L2 read your patch notes dumbass
1.[Hinterlands]Scofield:its noob dude

You are now ignoring SomeDbag.

Fucking trolls. Theyre non elite but fuck there's so many of em. Oh shit there's a caster. Oh shit. Run aw…fuck I'm dead.

You have died

Release. Reincarnate

Oh snap I'm back! More lightning bolts!!

You have died

Release

Stupid pats….

[SameDbag] whispers: LOlOllol. Stupid nub. Go die some more. Im so l33t I can solo this whole place.


I thought I ignored this douche muffin…Oh hey it’s "a"instead. Clever…

You are now ignoring SameDbag

Same shit, different day as they say. We’re gonna fast forward to 70. I'm in karazhan. Nuggs is taking beatings from prince to the face like a good tank. Sam's healing on Sean's pally. Man why did it have to be 2 new healers on this run? Infernal NOT good! Shit run!

Nuggs has died

FUCK.

Fast forward a few more weeks. Greater heal. Greater heal. Earth shield. Greater heal. Pass out the loots.

[Nuggs] whispers: hey dude have you ever thought about going elemental? We got plenty of healers now and no one on this server ever runs elemental.
[Scofield] whispers:not at all lol. But im open to ideas.

Now I have this gift. When I spec a character 9 out of 10 times its exactly how Elitist Jerks and such say are the best. That little one out of ten though? That little guy? I wouldn't worry about that little guy. Sometimes Elitist Jerks gets it wrong. No ones perfect. The reason I tell you this is cause when I say down to make an elemental spec, it was game over. I never felt so satisfied with every spent talent point. Never questioned one single point.

Its Tuesday. Karazhan time again. Ok wtf am I doing here? Ok lightning bolt that looks important. Chain lightning, ima need that on trash pulls. Shock hmm what shock. Well earth always did the most but fire has a dot. Undead horses oh shit. Chain lightning. Flame shock. Lightning bolt. Iightning bolt. Lightning bolt. Earth shock. Ok, I could get used to this. How much dps am I doing? 200. Hmm. That not good. Maybe if I didn’t miss every other lightning bolt I could do more. I need more hit rating in my life. Now this marks a huge moment in my wow career. The day I fell in love with hit rating. The most useful stat you could every ask for. I had a buddy named mo who used to say “Fuck hit man, I can get an extra blah blah spell power out of it and yadda yadda crit.” “Yeah mo but you cant crit if you don’t hit the target.”
Poor show Mo. Poor show…

Meow!

Meow!

So Scofield, I think we should write a blog.

But Succi, what do we know about writing blogs?

See because you are funny, and I am anal retentive, and well, that is what every good sitcom is based on.
So we're making a sitcom?
No no no. We're writing a blog. We just went over this.

I know, I was there.

Then why do you think we're making a sitcom?

Well judging from the trajectory of the sun and the moon I would have to say it's cause you mentioned sitcoms in your next question.

I was just comparing the awesomeness that is our blog! Well the awesomeness that it WILL be if we ever write it, like sitcomy goodness.
Hehe you said "commie"....

Focus man! Blog! We are making a blog!

Ok ok we're making a blog. Wait what are we gonna blog about?

What every good intellectual junk food centers around -- nothing! You can be the Rachel to my Monica. I'll be the Alan to your Charlie. Except like you know, Azeroth style.

So we're gonna blog about how Rachel loves Ross, but Ross loves British chick now, and how Charlie sleeps with way too many hot chicks, and beats up Denise Richards? But we're gonna do it as role playing blood elves and orcs?

Yes! I mean...No! I mean...dammit Scofield! We'll be Professional Shenaniganners. Be Pro at silly. Get goofy serious. Bake some douche muffins. Meow, because everyone is happier when there is meowing.

I think I got it now. You will be the Sheldon to my Leonard. The Bert to my Ernie. And if you don't mind I'm going to raise the epic meter a little and say the Lois to my Clark. I think we need to brew up some awesome sauce to go with the douche muffins. This may take a while.