In Which Blizzard Didn't Kill My Dog....

...but they are going to.

…the ritual came to a close and a demon of untold power (but limited stature) was pulled through the void, kicking and biting and gnashing its teeth, forcibly bound to the mortal world. The warlock, a quizzical expression on his face, regarded his familiar, who was in fact now quite unfamiliar, and inquired, “Who in the hell are you?”  [Bornakk]

You may have heard that somewhere in the massive amounts of changes to warlocks in 4.0, something went awry that resulted in new demonic companions for those of us who follow the path of shadow and flame. Cynwise even wrote a charming, misty eyed memorial on the loss of beloved pets and friends. Lo and behold, Blizzard has figured out what went wrong and plans to restore our former companions to us in the next update, presumably this coming Tuesday. At which point, I will join the masses and start to wail, "Blizzard killed my dog!"

You see, I really love demons. A lot. A warlock's relationship with its demon is a very complicated mixture of revulsion and fascination. We are their masters, yes, but the whole reason you go through the process of drawing a rune circle and sacrificing the innocent souls of dead babies and virgins and unicorn tails is to annex those diabolical powers. Your demon characterizes you far more than you affect them. But most importantly, when you summon a demon, you stop being alone. You are incomplete without your demon. Every victory is shared, and sweetened, for the company, and your first action upon resurrection from death is always to summon a new demon. You can't help but feel a bond with your partner, but that bond is kept artificially restrained because its a demon. And demons are evil. 

So there's that. Then, there's the fact that the epic questlines you go through don't "give" you demons. You call the demon forth from the Nether, and subject it to your will by right of conquest. A blood-debt. Their submission to you is a matter of honor, perverse as it might seem. So yes, there is an aspect of individuality to each demon that makes it difficult to justify that the new demons we got last Tuesday are as good as the ones we had on Monday night. 

But...I hesitate to confess this. Sometimes demons just don't fit. I'm looking for that feeling of impossible romance with my demonic companion, and sometimes I got it right and sometimes I didn't. And let me tell you, if I ended up with a demon friend that I couldn't feel that bond with, I would send it back. Let me emphasize again that demons are evil. And yet we come to trust and love them anyway for reasons that cannot have any grounding in logic. That leap of faith is what makes the warlock and demon partnership so special. And it's why I will be more saddened to lose my new demons than I am to have lost my old ones.

The demon I could never bring myself to love was my succubus, Catxxia. She and I just couldn't make it work. I'm a temperamental blood elf with rice paper thin skin concealing my bleeding heart, and Catxxia is one of those succubi that is all about the botox injections. If we'd gone to high school together she would have scratched her name, in calligraphy, on the side of my dad's car, using nothing but her blood red fingernails on the way to have sex with a gang of uh, mechano-hoggers. This isn't one of those relationships that would eventually give way to compassion and understanding. It just got awkward.

So I was thrilled to find that 4.0 brought me to meet with Jhorwyn. Ah, Jhorwyn, how I adore thee. The rounded syllables of your name recall me to the creamy sweetness of cool w-hip. A succubus, you might have been as fiery as any of your kind, but, like me, you had a grounding of level-headedness to restrain your lust. Tomorrow's patch will bring an early end to what could have been an affectionate and respectful partnership. I hope we can reunite in the future. Curse thee, Catxxia, that you must assert your irrational jealous anger!

However, I haven't spent all that much time with Jhorwyn this week as I was enthralled with Destruction, and so Abatip was actually my most frequent visitor. Abatip's predecessor, Lazpit, convinced me to play a warlock. He got the last hit on a mob that would otherwise have killed me. I was sold. But after picking up my slack for so long, I imagine he was a little burnt out (lord was I sick of him) and so I'm sure he was happy to hand the reins over to his young cousin Abatip. Ohp no! Your vacation is over before your plane hits the ground, my dear. I feel a little sorry for Abatip. He did a good job, and he is going to be unemployed soon, thanks to the weird situation imposed upon the three of us by Blizzard. It's going to be a little awkward to have Lazpit back when he knows how much I liked his replacement. 

Sloonhym, my Felpuppy, was replaced by Phuumon. Enough said.

The demon I know the least well, and could at best characterize as a good "working relationship" was Haaroon, who accompanied me through Icecrown Citadel and hour upon hour of wipes to Halion adds. Haaroon was an ideal employee. He did his job well, never left me to fend for myself, and we had enough fuzzy moments to get us through the rest of the week. Still, there was always a distance between, probably based in the fact that his name sounded like a banshee screech. So I was happy to meet his far more personable brother Erakferil. Erakferil was more eager to please, with an open countenance and a faster blade. 4.0 Demonology was going to be more lighthearted than the self-sacrificing "Moar Spellpower!" Demonology. Ah, well. Maybe Erakferil can give me a massage at a spa in Sweden, which is clearly where he is from.

And last, but never, ever least, my dear Chargrave. Who was Chargrave replaced by? Well, no one. Chargrave is my most useful and best loved demon. We leveled through Noobland together, and he isn't letting me face the Cataclysm. alone. That's the whole point.

<3